Completing the 2010s Powerfully; Happy New Decade!!

Completing the 2010s Powerfully; Happy New Decade!!

To Complete: Definition: 1. To bring to a finish or an end:
2. To make whole, with all necessary elements or parts

It’s the end of 2019. For some of us, 2019 was a great year filled with growth, excitement and forward movement. For others of us, it was a year of challenges, obstacles and we are looking forward to putting it behind us.

Whichever of these you relate to, here are some strategies for powerful completion and for intentionally creating and attracting that which will make your 2020 an even better year to remember.

1. Review your year and assess what you learned. There is never nothing going on, and you are always learning. What did you learn and how can you use that to make your next chapter richer?

2. Look at the people in your world. Review whom you spent the most time with. How did that work for you? Are these people who bring you inspiration and energy? Or do they drain you? Choose where to put your time in the upcoming year. Be kind to others, but more kind to yourself. There is only so much time in a year, who do you want to spend it with?

3. Finances, did you meet your financial obligations? Is there some rearranging you need to do to make that more manageable and functional in the next year. And, if it was all managed successfully, did your use your resources to make your world better?

4. Your environment, are your home and your work environment supporting you? Look around. Is there unfinished business taking up space in your environment? Those “unclosed loops” are taking up space and energy in your brain. Spend some time cleaning out unfinished business, or at least filing it away so it is not in view and put it where you can get it done later. Put a tickler in your calendar to get it done. Also, this is the time of year where retailers have sales on storage solutions. Get what you need to start your year free of physical/ mental clutter.

5. How are you? A simple question with a complicated answer. Take stock of your health, and make what ever appointments or arrangements you need to get to “as good as you can”, as 2020 begins. Nothing affects our experience as drastically as our physical well being.

And finally, what do you want for yourself, and who do you intend to be in 2020 and beyond? YOU control how people react to you by your requests, actions and attitudes. Are you getting what you are intending for yourself? If not, stop, breathe and be clear as to what your 2020 will bring for you. Remember, you only get 1 chance to live in 2020. Make the most of it! Happy, Healthy New Everything!!

The Guest Room (A metaphorical homage to my uterus)

The Guest Room (A metaphorical homage to my uterus)

Imagine living in a home and in that home is a guest room​. This room has a perfect atmosphere. The temperature is perfect. The circulation is ideal and if someone stayed there they would be well fed, well nourished, well-loved and well cared for. Imagine that room is available for forty years. And every month you clean that room and make it as inviting and hospitable as it was at the very beginning.

And what if one day, you become aware that this room is no longer available? Does the room feel badly? Do you feel badly? Do you experience regret, or beat yourself up for never having used the room?

But, what if the room was never truly empty? What if the room held the space for curiosity, adventure, creativity and alternative possibilities to show up?

​What if, in place of regrets, you send the room love, and light and gratitude for the sacred space it gave you to have the unique and extraordinary life you created for yourself?

I am grateful for what the room allowed me to birth into my life, although not the traditional experience, but the experience of creating a life lived on my terms by the choice of my soul.

During this September, my birthday month, I send gratitude, love, light and peace to that part of myself that has always been there for me no matter how I chose to use it… or not.

P.S. To all of the women who’s “guest room” has been occupied at some point in your life. I wonder, have you received and do you continue to receive notes of thanks and acknowledgement from your guests?

How to not get triggered during the Holiday Season

How to not get triggered during the Holiday Season

The Holidays are here again. Can you believe it? December already. The weather is turning cold, and it seems that everyone is getting ready to wind down 2016 pretty soon. Too soon for me. Here are a few ideas to keep us from allowing the hectic pace and people’s “peopling”to  trigger us to react with stress, anger and frustration.

Here are 3 tips to not get triggered and enjoy your holidays.

  • Understand that events are neutral. People are neutral. Nothing has meaning… good or bad until we superimpose our meaning onto it. So when you feel triggered, take a breath and realize that what is happening has no meaning… and then choose to give it the meaning that will serve YOU. If something is horribly triggering, breathe and find a way to separate yourself from it for a few minutes to give yourself perspective.
  • People are constantly “peopling”. What is that? It is that people with all of their personality components, their life situations and their history bring that into the room with them. Understand that you do not have to take it on. Any of it. Even with family, you can choose to objectively look at the behavior and language that is coming at you, and stand back, observe and then choose to engage or not. My Dad always said, you NEVER go wrong keeping your mouth shut.
  • And…. you can choose to or not to engage in the holiday ritual of shopping, and gift giving. If you have enough “stuff”, as I do, you can make the request of family and friends and co-workers, to make a small donation to a charity of your/ their choice. You can also ask someone to be specific as to what would be the best gift for them if they were to get a gift from you. Then you can choose consciously to create a holiday season that works for everyone.

Should you like to give the gift of coaching or voice dialogue facilitation to someone in your life or your organization, feel free to reach out to me and we can get it scheduled. My gift to you is that I’m here to help whenever you feel it will be a benefit, a joy or a gift.

I hope to speak for your organization or see you at an event in 2017.

With Peace and Blessings for a beautiful holiday season. – Carolyn

The United States of Consciousness

The United States of Consciousness

My take on how the election of Donald Trump may be exactly what humanity needs to wake up, resolve our issues and move us to a higher level of consciousness. For the past 3 days, I’ve been in a state of confusion and upset as to the divisiveness and ugliness that is showing up in our country as a result of the presidential election. As for me, I spent most of Wednesday sick to my stomach with despair and unable to comprehend how the people of my country could get it so “wrong”. Our country voted for a man who personifies all of the underlying demons that have plagued our nation, sexism, racism, misogyny, narcissism, fear and hatred. But I think I get it..and hopefully this explanation will help ease some of the tensions that many of us are feeling both personally and culturally.
Anyone who has ever been to therapy knows that to handle and deal with an issue that is plaguing us, we need to bring it into the light, name it and deal with it head on. Therapy makes you aware that when you bury something sooner or later, it is going to emerge in a stronger, more potent, more obvious way to be dealt with. As human beings we have all kinds of levels and layers and attributes as to what makes us us. Some of those layers are buried in the shadows. Concepts and parts of us that we don’t want to look at and deal with as they make us uncomfortable and upset. We spend much of our lives in denial that these aspects exist within us. However once we bring these shadows into the light, we can bring love and understanding to them, and hopefully help them to heal and put them to rest.
The election of Donald Trump is a demonstration of the shadows, the level of consciousness that we as an “embodied” nation are experiencing. For many people this is not the case, however this majority level of consciousness has created this reality. These underlying problems, issues and challenges have been just below the surface of our nation as a whole for decades. Trump’s “persona” brought to the forefront, as the most powerful man in the country, is causing us all to have no choice but to deal with these “hidden aspects” of us as a people. We can now choose to look at them, address them in the light, send positive energy to them as opposed to being sucked into the negativity. We can intentionally deal with them and hopefully resolve them. Then we can rise above, raise our consciousness and live in “The United States”, acknowledging our human connectedness to all things and each other. This can result in leaving conflict, bitterness and upset behind. If we choose it.
It’s funny. I thought that we had processed through most of these issues years ago when I was a young woman growing up in the seventies and eighties. I thought we handled the pro-choice issue, I thought we handled the Equal Pay issue, I thought we handled the racism issue. Clearly I was wrong. And writing “laws” to handle them is not good enough, as those who oppose the laws will take their true beliefs back underground and back into the shadows. The only way to deal with our unwanted issues / demons is to look at them and name them. Donald Trump is the most obvious, blatant, physical manifestation of all of the disowned, dark and disliked attributes of many in our American society. So I want to thank him for showing up. Now we have no choice but to look at our issues proactively and consciously. Maybe then we can live in a country of peace, love, liberty and justice for all. Donald Trump is our collective wake-up call.

The Social Aspect of Removing Weight

I have a friend who is successfully removing lots of weight. She looks great. But there is a slight disruption that occurs when she spends time with an “old friend” who just can’t handle her transformation. Here is my thought on how to engage others and alleviate the pain of change.

Change is scary…. on an instinctual level for everyone. It threatens the status quo. Even if the status quo isn’t good, change makes people nervous/ uncomfortable. So when a person decides to change their body, it can shake up the people around them. Here are some tips to have your friends, families, coworkers, and those around you, support you in your weight removal efforts.

1. First, make your intention to remove weight public. Declare it to your friends and ask them for help. People love to help people they care about. When you ask someone for their help they will feel involved and engaged and since they feel they are a part of the change, they may even take pride in helping create the desired outcome.

2. Next,  make the win of your removing pounds a win for everybody. Create a plan and share it with people that help you reach your goal weight. Plan to do something with everyone who helped you, perhaps an evening of bowling or hitting golf balls or a bike ride or even a night out at your favorite healthy restaurant, or a healthy meal at your home that you prepare for them.

3. And finally, let people know that you support them. Ask your circle of close people, what one of their goals is for the next six months and ask how you can support them. Create a win-win. They support you in removing weight, and you support them in whatever their goal is. That way everybody wins and you end up with the support you need.

Wishing you luck, support, and health.

The 5-15 barrier to exercise

It happened again.  I was on my spin bike for a class that started at 9am. I looked at the clock and it was 9:06 and the conversation had already begun. My legs started saying, “Oh my gosh, I’m tired, I don’t want to do this, in a conversation with my brain, who agreed, “I know, legs, you seem tired, why are we doing this?” Then, another voice – I think it’s my higher self who wants what’s best for me – showed up and said, “just keep going.”

Two minutes later, my legs started really complaining and saying, “I did not want to keep doing this. Why are we doing this? I’m tired. I hurt. I’m achy. This is stupid, we are moving fast, and no one is chasing us!” My brain then responded with, “And do know how many other things we could be doing right now? We could be working, we could be having coffee, we could be watching a movie. There are a million other things we could be doing.”

My higher self watched the two parts conspiring to stop me from exercising, and it said, “just keep going.”

Three minutes later, it happened. That magic moment where all of a sudden, my legs started being quiet and happy. My brain started smiling to itself, thinking, this is great. And my higher self said, “See? I told you. Just keep going and it will all get better.”

I’ve talked to many people and almost everyone I talk to has the same experience. I call it the 5-15 barrier to exercise. Physiologically, it takes energy, oxygen and blood flow to get to the muscles to make them exert, to make them put out effort. Somewhere between five minutes and twelve minutes in, there is an oxygen and blood deficit in those muscles, so doing any type of aerobic activity gets hard to do during that deficit.

However, what I’ve learned is that when you allow your higher self to win, the part of you that knows and remembers what it feels like after you push yourself through that five-to-fifteen minute barrier to exercise, the 15 to 45, or 15 to 90 minutes that follow will be wonderful. Your muscles will adapt to the amount of oxygen and blood flow required to keep going, you’ll pass over the barrier, and the following 30 to 90 minutes will be a wonderful experience for your brain (thank you endorphin release!), your legs, your heart and your whole self. Treat yourself to a great workout today.